Brennan's Rules When Dating Booth
by 2BlckBlt
Summary: It is always amazing what you learn when you start a new relationship, right?
1. Chapter 1

I had the worst bout of writer's block I have had in years until…Wham! I was waiting for Theories of Social Deviance last week when this idea hit me. It came hard and fast and this was the result. I'd love to hear what other people feel like the rules of dating Booth should be. Feel free to chime in.

Also, in case this isn't clear, the plain text are Brennan's thoughts, the italics are flashbacks to the date.

-On With The Story-

Angela said that Booth and I are hot together. I am not entirely sure what that means but I think that it has something to do with the sexual tension that spilled over between us yesterday. The spilling over that resulted in a date. I think I am about to learn the rules of dating Seeley Booth, starting with the one I learned last night, Booth always pays.

"_Booth! That was my Thai you just stole!" Brennan exclaimed this as Booth snatched away her dinner._

_Booth laughed, but Brennan looked at him quizzically._

"_Do you not see why that was funny?"_

"_No, I don't." Brennan said calmly._

"_It's just. Well." Then it was clear a light bulb went off in Booth's head. _

"_Do you want your noodles back Bones?"_

"_Yes, Booth. I thought that was obvious."_

"_Then come and get'em." Booth flashed his best charm smile and held out some noodles to her._

_She took them from him, and then licked the sauce from her fingers, never breaking eye contact. The result was a slight groan Booth._

I think that was one of our "moments." I could feel my heart rate increasing and experienced a galvanic-type response when my lips met his skin briefly.

"_Bones…you felt that too, didn't you?" _

"_Yes Booth, I did."_

"_I'd know I'd love to feel it again. Have dinner with me tonight. Com'on Bones, please?"_

So I agreed, perhaps against my better judgment, or perhaps because of it. I am not sure which yet.

"_That steak was easily the best I have ever had; you are really missing out here, Bones." Booth teased Brennan easily._

"_My four cheese ravioli was quite delicious. I'll signal the waiter for the check." _

_Brennan lifted her hand to signal the waiter, Booth however was quick to cover her hand with his own._

"_Whoa there. I asked you out. Therefore I pay. Plus I am a man. Men pay."_

"_Booth, I am a best selling author and world renowned anthropologist; you should let me pay." Brennan responded, making a case for why she should pay for their date._

"_I know, you're rich, a genius, have multiple doctorates and black-belts, but I am a man. Let me pay."_

"_What is it about a dating that takes women's liberation back sixty years?"_

"_Was that sarcasm Bones?" Booth was mildly amused at the idea and couldn't help smirking._

"_No Booth, merely inquiry. You can pay for dinner, but I am taking us for coffee afterwards."_

I thought it was an adequate compromise. Booth would be able to show his prowess as a provider while I would be subjugated to the antiquated role of a 1950's female. I proved to be mistaken.

"_I changed my mind Booth. We are going to get cupcakes instead. We're in Georgetown already; we may as well visit Baked & Wired." Brennan had changed her mind and suggested a change of venue as they ambled along M Street._

"_What's it on, Thomas Jefferson? Sounds like a plan. One of their German-Chocolate concoctions sounds great."_

How could we go wrong with cupcakes? But we did, all because of Booth's Neanderthalic sense of propriety.

"_That will be $7.64 sir," the cashier said._

"_Actually I'll be paying." Brennan said and quickly handed the teenage cashier a ten dollar bill._

"_Bones, that isn't necessary." _

"_Yes, it is. This is the twenty-first century, Booth. Women work, file their own taxes, and pay for things on dates."_

"_Fine."_

I thought I had won. It turns out I need a few more lessons from Sweets on reading the subtleties behind tone of voice and body language. I get better though.

"_What's wrong, Booth?"_

"_Nothing."_

"_Your arms are crossed and you look upset, disgruntled, angry, or perhaps some combination of the three."_

"_You mean I'm sulking."_

"_That would be an accurate, if unscientific description."_

"_You emasculated me, Bones!"_

"_By what? Paying for cupcakes? That is extremely melodramatic Booth, even for you and your tendency to rely on your stomach reactions."_

"_Its gut reactions Bones; and I am exercising my rights as an alpha male."_

Alpha male rights?

"_If we are going to date it needs to be an equal partnership in all regards."_

"_We are equals Bones. Its just I pay. Or I'll sulk. Take your pick."_Rule one for dating Booth. He always pays. Either that or he sulks. I can take my pick.

----On a completely on related note, I do plan on finishing Clarity at some point but am stuck on it right now----


	2. Chapter 2

I am so glad people enjoyed the first chapter! This is the second version of the second chapter. I had a totally different version written but when I was reading other stories as I was about to publish my I found one which I thought was just a bit too similar, hence an extensive rewrite.

I hope everyone enjoys and let me know what you think!

-On With The Story-

Another rule to remember when dating Booth: I don't hold my alcohol as well as I thought I did and Booth holds his alcohol better than I do. In case I ever start to forget I'll just have to remember two words: Ocean City. Rule number three followed as a direct result of rule number two.

"_It's the beach, Bones. We'll lie in the sun; maybe play volleyball, cool off in the water, have a few beachy drinks…" Booth was attempting to persuade Bones to take a day trip to Ocean City, Maryland with him. _

"_I can't just leave the Jeffersonian, Booth. I have bodies to identify. From the FBI and from limbo. And my graduate students require a great deal of attention."_

"_Pack a towel, swimsuit, and sunscreen Bones, you can soak up the sun. It will be good for you. The sun gives you Vitamin D, you know? There. A scientifically sound reason for you to come to the beach with me."_

So I was lured into going to the beach with the promise of a couple of beachy drinks and healthy dose of Vitamin D. It sounded promising. It actually might have been if I had stopped at one drink, or even three. Instead I had to prove I could keep up with my partner. I know the literature. Women cannot handle the same amount of alcohol as men, we are smaller and don't metabolize it at the same rate as men. Unfortunately I was drunk and drunken people don't recall scientific literature as well as sober people.

"_Boooo-th, can I have another?" Brennan slurred midway through the afternoon._

"_I am not entirely sure that's a good idea."_

"_Why not? It keeps me from sharing my athropo, antropl, anthropological opinions about why some women insist on wearing swimsuits that clearly do not flatter their figure."_

"_I am more worried about how I am going to get you home than I am about you offending a plump old lady." Booth could tell his partner had passed tipsy some where around 2pm and was now full on drunk at four._

"_You," Brennan said, running her finger up his chest, "will carry me like, like a sack of potatoes."_

"_Like a sack of potatoes, Bones? You pick the oddest sayings to understand. And I'll tell ya, that one takes the cake." Booth decided to focus on the oddity of what Bones said instead of her actions, it was safer that way._

I still find it hard to believe I said, "Like a sack of potatoes," but I did. I believe the expression for the state I was in is trashed. I paid for it the next morning too, my head was pounding and I thought there could not be anything possibly left in my stomach. Except possibly gastric juices.

"_Hey, why aren't you drunk too, Booth?"_

"_First of all I stopped after three, and second I out weigh you considerably. How much have you had to drink Dr. Smarty Pants?"_

"_My name is…Oh…That was sarcasm. And I don't know. But they tasted really good." Brennan was even slower on the uptake than usual when it came to basic social cues._

"_Ma'am, you really shouldn't wear that swimsuit." Brennan said this to an older woman who was wearing a swimsuit that was best suited for the 25 and under crowd._

"_And why not?" The elderly woman responded in an equally antagonistic manor._

"_Well, for starters there are sagging issues involved."_

Another phrase I never thought I would utter. Sagging issues. Remind me never to allow Booth to let me become intoxicated in public again. I lose touch with my normal vocabulary.

"_Bones!"_

"_Young lady, I do believe my grand-daughter would have a laundry list full of words that describe you, none of which I consider appropriate for public."_

"_Okay, Bones. Time to go. I think you have officially had enough to drink and plenty of Vitamin D for one day."_

_"No more beachy drinks?"_

_"No Bones, no more beachy drinks for you today. Or perhaps ever."_

Rule number two for dating Booth, I don't handle my alcohol as well as I thought I did and Booth handles his better. Rule number three, leave little (or not so little) old women alone.


End file.
